The myth of being exotic

I once watched a YouTube video of these two female teenage American poets/ musicians. They were dealing with the issue of race because they were brown skinned.. well unless you knew them, you could easily mistake them for various ethnic backgrounds.... they could be Hispanic or mixed race or of black origin.
I listened to part of their music and poetry, it was really moving because they are what they are. People kept asking them, where are you from? What is your origin? That is because we as humans like to have a grasp of everything. We love to have knowledge of all our surroundings, even if it means to make others uneasy or even make ourselves uncomfortable. That is why people travel thousands of miles to other lands to make discoveries. We are just too curious for our own good.

So back to the teenagers. I sort of felt sorry for them because they had to defend themselves because to be sincere, they also do not know where they come from. America has a long history of immigration and when you are born in the last century, your origin is America. But then again, America was originally for the native Indians who currently almost do not exist. The country is made up of immigrants who went there or were taken there for different reasons.

I feel privilleged and almost lucky to say that I am from Uganda. I am born in Uganda, my parents are Ugandan. When I look at my son, it is not that easy for him either because he can not really say he is completely Ugandan or completely Dutch because he is half half. And almost does not count as they say. Just because he is born in the Netherlands, does not mean he is Dutch. And to be honest, there are more black people with his complexion than white people.
If I was born in China, would I be Chinese?...of course not! I do not look Chinese. Even when I would speak the language fluently, eat the food, live the lifestyle and so on, I would still be black and people would still be referring to me as black or African.Just that I would probably have Chinese nationality.

When I started my company; Biri Biri that teaches East African culture, it was also a critic on myself because I had a child in Europe and it is extra effort to teach him the values of my native land. It does not come as easy as it does back home even if the child is surrounded by people from your native land. The child has to balance two very different cultures. At school he is taught something different, at home he/she gets different ideas from mummy and daddy and the cycle goes on.

The ways of my motherland or most African countries are very contrary to the lifestyle in Europe.
Where I come from, I am a product of my parents so I have to be completely loyal and almost subordinate. I almost have no say whatsoever in most of the decision making made as long as I am in the house / hands of my parents. If you are not so conversant with this type of upbringing, you can say it is child abuse or extremely unfair.

Even at this very point, if my mother was to slap me or say something extremely hurtful, I have no right to say something back or retaliate. On the contrary, in my current location, you have the right to stand up for yourself even if it means against family or people older than yourself.

Even still, we as African parents, let us not rob our children of what is rightfully theirs. A couple of weeks holidays to Africa does not do it. We have to practice on a daily because charity begins at home. It will be so sad if at one point your child does not feel connected to your origins and you will entirely be to blame.

It is such a beautiful thing to raise a biracial child because he gets to see both worlds. Two very different worlds, and that does not necessarily have to be negative. Like I said in my previous blog titled "Children"...... If we teach children about other people's cultures, we teach them tolerance. And the biggest problem we have in the world right now is that we do not want to tolerate each other. Once someone does not understand someone else, then it is interpreted as "He who is not for me, is against me".

When I was still living and studying in England, many people made fun of my accent because it was a bit too African... whatever that meant. Is Africa one unit? Someone from Lesotho surely does not sound like someone from Ghana. Even if both spoke English. And sometimes I did feel embarrassed by it, not that I hated my origin but that people made all sorts of bad associations. Africa is full of disease, hunger, war, dangerous wild animals and all sorts of stereotypical connotations.

But on the other hand, when I moved to the Netherlands, I received a much different reception. People thought I was special that I had traveled all the way from Uganda to come and study in Amsterdam. They were very curious and sometimes it was a bit overwhelming.
Also the fact that there are so many foreigners in Amsterdam, you as an individual do not stand out anymore. So in this way you are part of the crowd which I so longed for while I was in London.

But it is 2012 and more people have traveled to Africa, and they know that it is a place you have to visit before you die. And now it is cool to be African. Just like when I was younger it was cool to be Jamaican or American. Somehow now different people have discovered their African roots. Fashion designers are using African fabric and more dark skinned models and so on.
There is more coming still... we are not done yet!!